The Message for 2018

Read. Absorb. Repeat.

What's the problem? You seem miffed. You're ready to defend yourself. You’re not trusted, get over it. You have to question yourself, good. Do it. Do it everyday. You feel like you've done nothing wrong, well cut that shit out. To think everything you've said or done to women you have interacted with was welcome, asked for, or respectful is bold. Take off that Knight-in-shining armor, it doesn't come in your size or mine. It never did. 

Wake up men, it's time to be better. It's past time. We're oozing with toxic masculinity and we can't stay silent when other men throw up that toxic shit everywhere. 

Please do not create scenarios in your head with a woman to validate things you say and do. 

Stop looking at feelings and attaching them to only women. 

Lose the phrase:

"You know how women are." 

Lose it forever.

Ingest art from ALL TYPES OF WOMEN. Listen to women in music, read their books, absorb their speeches, and watch them be influential. Respect powerful women, respect normal women, respect all women. 

Understand that every part of their life is measured writ-large by men for no god damn reason other than being male, the same way some of us get jobs we don't deserve.

A lot of you are trying to find the best way to go about courting a woman. You want to just get better at consent. That's short sighted. It's still got an uncomfortable twinge of sexism and misogyny in it. You're only worried about what you get out of women in that thought. Root problem for all of us is this: respect.

Women owe you nothing. 

Women owe you nothing. 

Women owe you nothing.

We have to end this. Women were not made just for relationships, they weren’t made to just procreate. You have an opinion about any woman’s behavior, keep it to yourself, no one wants to deal with you projecting your wimpy insecurities on them. 

You’re walking on the eggshells from the eggs we (men) broke and then finally acknowledge that you have the empty carton in your hand. 

The uncomfortable, uneasy feeling your having, that’s a good thing. You just need a little push, that lands you far away from the outdated, unwanted, should-have-never-been-a-thing thought process you are wrestling with. 

Get rid of the mentality that creates a general psychological profile of one particular woman you’ve seen on some counter culture site that makes you apply that to ALL women. You do not have unfettered access to women, by herself or in groups. Sometimes, women want to be left alone. Fight the urge to open your mouth. 

You feel it’s exhausting to have to try and earn respect, and treat women with decency even though you feel that hey, I did nothing to be seen this way, why can’t I get the benefit of the doubt, why does it feel like there’s nothing I can do to alleviate this cloud of confusion?

#YesAllWomen

You’re going to push a woman to the brink with all the dumb machismo of the douchiest bro. You’ll claim that “you’ve got this” or “trust me.” We exhaust women. 

We hurt them. We try to control them and we don’t acknowledge the stress we put them under with our toxic stubbornness that: “we know better than them.” We claim to logical but when it comes to listening to women, reason is of no consequence.

It’s insulting. 

Men, read this all again. Thank you. 

Kill Chivalry. Just be kind. 

The real weakness

By Matt Bright

Harvey Weinstein isn’t surprising. He’s a reminder.

Donald Trump isn’t surprising. He’s a reminder.

Cam Newton isn’t surprising he’s a reminder. 

The NFL is a reminder. No one should be surprised.

Hugh Hefner is a reminder. No one should be surprised. 

Bill Cosby is a reminder. No one should be surprised. 

John Lennon also a reminder.

O.J. Simpson is a reminder. 

Ike Turner is a reminder. 

Derrick Rose, Patrick Kane, Ben Roethlisberger, and so many more. 

Religions are reminders. The History of whose held presidential office is an unbelievable reminder. 

The most popular sports are a reminder. The heroes in the most popular movies have become a constant reminder. 

Their paychecks are a reminder. The music we listen to is a reminder.

If you’re a woman reading this, seeing who wrote it might even be a reminder. 

Men dominate culture without any rhyme or reason. Then you make way for a few white women to star and call it equality. You give way to a focus on a certain portion of black culture and call it intersectional. 

Men of color receive some privileges before women of color and uphold a system that is detrimental to equality and empowerment of women of color, and black women, and Trans Black women (The least represented, the most excluded, and most unheard.) 

I didn’t want to address one singular issue like Harvey Weinstein because the shock is non existent, especially for all women. 

The San Bernardino Mass Shooter who made the YouTube video about how women gave him no affection or love. His reason for despicable, deplorable, and tragic event.

The video of a woman walking down the street in New York being harassed, and stalked for hours. The woman who took pictures with her harassers in selfies. 

Policemen who exchanged sexual favors for getting out of arrests.

Rape culture, the light sentences for rape. The staggering amount of unreported rapes, not to mention rapes that happen with marriages.

The constant conversation of telling women how to dress, repressing their sexuality for “safety” instead of teaching men to not violate a woman’s body. To get consent. 

Obliterating the term “Friendzone.”

The negative connotation of promiscuity prescribed to women and the accolade nature prescribed to men. 

Sexism needs to die, as a man, I’m not without fault. I’m just aware of it like a white person waking up to racism. 

In your proximity, you can make an impact. Listen to women, do your damn best to acknowledge them. Respect women. 

Learn it, repeat it. It won’t happen overnight and you’re going to surely fuck up along the way. However with practice you won’t be Harvey Weinstein or Donald Trump, the best you could hope for is a Cam Newton-like comment. 

Enough is enough.