Trumps Takeaway: I love Wall

The Orange, The King, and The Weapons Deal
by Matthew Bright

Trump travelled across the world and landed in cognitive dissonance

He met with Saudi Arabian King to open an anti-extremist center.

In Saudi Arabia. That's right, people directly responsible for most of Americas past and current turmoil opened a center about anti-extremism. 

A center to combat extremist ideology. They have churches already. They have scientific journals about it. Only two megalomaniacs would think opening one building in a country suppressing women harder than republicans would do this. Or forty I don't know. 

Yet here we are, old dudes proclaiming to fight the idea of terror. Like kids playing in a backyard taking on the spaceships in the sky right before lunch. 

They put all their hands on that mind melding orb, or globe. Whatever, this is only phase one of Project Desert Cheeto. 

Saudi Press Agency

After that incredibly dark and ominous photo you know they waited for the return of The Dark One. He just stood around aimlessly like: You promised us we'd see him. I came all the way from D.C. I literally dragged  Melania here, it was great. She was in the 24k bathroom, the best bathroom, hiding behind Ivanka who looked great. You told me to just touch this light bulb and he'd show. Just believe a little harder next time Donny. 

He also went to Israel to become the first sitting President to visit the Western Wall. To anyone that's not watching the 700 club 24/7 that headline reads: First sitting President to admire Wall. He loves wall. Great, America Elected the Orange version of Brick Tamblin. 

Government Cheese ( It's what I call #45) didn't just come to resurrect the Bringer of Death, he came with a tank full of cash to give to the Saudi Arabian King for...tanks. 110 billion dollars for arms on the same day you open a center against extremism. 

If you missed the irony, well the air in the land of cognitive dissonance is pretty thick.

Get out while you still can.

Richard Spencer: The Candlestick Maker

You call that a candle?

by Matthew Bright

Over the weekend a rally was held in protest of removing a historical monument of Robert E. Lee, The Confederate General from the Civil War (A Dead Loser), from a local park. Richard Spencer (A Living Loser) organized the rally which he called a CandleLit March.

It seems though, my definition is a smidge different from his. Candles are for Johnny B. Nimble and Johnny B. Quick, not Johnny B. Ayrian and Johnny B. White.

Also a candlelit march? This is a candlelit march? This:

Tiki Torches, chants of "Russia is our friend" to prove how American they are.

Those candles are out of control or being handle by people who have never used flame ever. I lit a lavender candle in my apartment once, it never looked like it was signalling for white supremacy or racism, I mean "help", in a community that's ok with constantly reminding it's black citizens of Slavery, I mean "on a remote island." My apologies, all this political doublespeak is so blatant I am seeing people in regular clothes instead white hoods or Nazi bands. If this is there idea of candlelit march, I bet this is there idea of a bonfire:

Picture of Alt-Right Bon-Fire
From left to right: Idiot #1-24

Congrats Richard Spencer, you've evolved a devolved way of thinking. You have taking an ignorant position to try and further the impact of racism on Americans and put a twede jacket on it. I get it, you want to normalize white supremacy, but it's already normalized. We're just tired of it's shit.

P.S. he even knows they aren't candles:

#torchlight pic.twitter.com/To6WZrvYGp

— Richard 🐸 Spencer (@RichardBSpencer) May 14, 2017

John Lewis & Donald Trump All Talk

Words Have Weight

By Matthew Bright

Congressman John Lewis boldly made a claim that has everyone thinking. "I don't not see Donald Trump as a legitimate President."
Which of course led to a Twitter punch from President D.T. saying this:

Congressman John Lewis should spend more time on fixing and helping his district, which is in horrible shape and falling apart (not to......

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 14, 2017

mention crime infested) rather than falsely complaining about the election results. All talk, talk, talk - no action or results. Sad!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 14, 2017

Alright, let's take a look at John Lewis's District, according to Pulitzer Prize winning website Politifact.com the claim is mostly false.

Now, it does seem outrageous that he would call the President illegitimate right? I mean who would ever question a President's legitimacy?

Donald Trump, on Twitter at least 16 times, according to this collection of Tweets Slate.com found questioning Former President Barack Obama's citizenship also known as "The Birther Tweets."

John Lewis on the far right marching with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

Birther Tweets, it's sound more like eggs that hatched Twitter. Donald Trump goes on to say Congressmen Lewis is all talk. Now to be fair, he's a politician so he's certainly some portion of talk or even a healthy slice of talk, but all talk would be pretty hard to show on a pie chart of John Lewis with all that Civil Rights activism, Selma March, and  Sit-in on the the House Floor taking up space not to mention these five amazing things reported by heavy.com


John Lewis is a civil rights icon and a living piece of history. So Mr. President even if he is all talk, his words have weight and they might have just fell on you. You just can't handle the pressure.